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Cocaine Sharks

8/3/2024

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Letter to the Editor of The Rio Times

Dear Sir, Madam, or Whatever,


We are three Gen Alpha sharpnose sharks, Bomba, Fluva, and Koko, and we wish to voice our opinion on beachgoers’ use of cocaine which then makes its way to us. We hope officials encourage this practice. We like cocaine.

Bomba— that’s me, the rizzler of our group— is writing this letter (with my sharp nose). I particularly want the cocaine. (Because it’s the GOAT!)

Fluva, a child at heart, wants candy more than drugs. So he craves Brigadeiro, Brazil’s most popular chocolate praline, to be emptied into the sea through swimmers’ digestive systems. Or Bolo de Rolo. (He loves guava paste.)

Koko demands girlie magazines by any means possible. He doesn’t seem to realize that the pages would quickly disintegrate and he might as well just look at the naked babes on the beach.

Again, we three sharpnose sharks, Bomba, Fluva, and Koko, request swimmers, surfers, and anyone going into the water off the coast of Rio de Janeiro to ingest plenty of cocaine and candy first. For Koko’s sake, we entreat ladies to remove their swimsuits before sunbathing.

Many thanks!

Com os nossos melhores cumprimentos,

Bomba, Fluva, and Koko, three coked-up sharpnose sharks
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    I'm a New York grandma, living in San Antonio. I've been writing nonsense for a few years now, and I think there's enuff of it now to start a blog.

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